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Important Life Lessons Amy Schumer Has Nailed

Posted on 03 October 2016

I’m probably jumping on the band wagon late here, but I am proudly jumping now. Amy Schumer.  Yes, she’s crass. But gosh does she make up for it in funnies.

Two of her sketches you need to watch. They are so worth your precious time. You will relate to them, so much so you might feel a little uncomfortable watching, but at the very least you will have a little guilty laugh.

So here they are:

 I’m sorry.

 Sorry, can I ask a question?
Sorry, what did you say?
Sorry, could you please pass me the salt?
Sorry, …

 

Why do women feel the need to apologise for everyday situations that are beyond their control? Clearly we are not always sorry. But we use it as a filler, perhaps trying to be polite, to soften a message or to help build a relationship. Perhaps because we don’t want to be seen as being bossy or aggressive? Perhaps we think it makes us more likeable? But instead of making us more likeable we are undermining ourselves, coming across as defensive, weak or lacking in confidence.

 

Schumer’s sketch is absurd. It’s also very relatable. I don’t know about you, but it made me more personally aware of what I’m saying and what my friends are saying to me. And most importantly what my daughter is hearing and what I want her to say when she grows up.

It’s time to break the habit of apologising for things beyond our control, because… well, they are beyond our control.  

It’s time to break the habit of for apologising when we have to be authoritative, because no matter who you are, or what you do, at some point of time we all need to be authoritative. 

It’s time to break the habit of apologising when we need your help/time/attention, because we are worthy of your help/time/attention.

But, if we are truly sorry, lets say so. Clearly. Sincerely. And with heart. A good old fashioned sincere apology will go a long way further than it does now.

 

Shaking off a thank you.

 
Friend: Is that new, you look great in that top?
You: Ohhhh, this old thing, Its nothing..

 

This Schumer sketch highlights how uncomfortable women are in accepting a compliment.  Schumer and her team came up with the sketch after they noticed how they would naturally deflect compliments.  They didn’t set out to make a revolutionary social commentary, however that’s exactly what they did.  You can’t help but watch the sketch and think ‘my gosh, I do this and what does that say about me?’. It highlights our almost impossible inability to simply say ‘thank you’ and accept a compliment. 

It can’t be explained simply by low self-esteem. Amy Schumer does not have low self esteem.  There is something else going on.  Why do we disbelieve what others are saying? Are we just trying to appear humble? Are we contemplating whether the compliment genuine or are they trying to manipulate me? 

Whatever our reasons, by overanalyzing, disbelieving or dismissing compliments we are rejecting an opportunity to feel valued and appreciated.  

Don’t miss out on those lovely squishy warm fuzzy feelings any longer – next time someone gives you a compliment say ‘thank you’. 

Don’t analyse it, don’t over think it, don’t deflect it. Just smile and enjoy it.

With love,

Annaliese 

 

p.s. don’t get me started on JUST (I’m just a mum), I THINK (I think 2 + 2 = 4 Vs. I know 2 + 2 = 4) and other qualifiers (ie I’m not expert, but…). 

p.p.s. If you need some help, check out Just Not Sorry. It’s a Google Chrome plug-in that underlines words that undermine your message. Genius.

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